An Example of Shifting a Should

This was my office one morning last week. If it looks like the corner of a beauty salon, that’s because it is.

My mom needed a ride to her hair appointment. During our short trip there, she apologized several times for needing my help; she didn’t want to be a “burden.”

My mom is never a burden. Given the hours I work, I would not have felt guilty about taking some time off for this errand. But I knew it would make her feel better if she saw me

working at my job while her operator (mom’s term for stylist) worked on her hair. Thanks to a mobile hotspot and an available corner of the salon, I didn’t miss a beat. I actually got a lot accomplished towards a grant request deadline.

I invite my coaching clients to consider simple re-framing exercises that can shift a should. In this case, giving my mom a ride isn’t something I should do, it’s something I have the opportunity to do. And guess what? Helping her gave me joy.