What I Do Before Asking For Feedback

The last person who asked me for my thoughts gave me this response to the feedback.

Has this ever happened to you? Someone asks you for feedback. You give the requested feedback and the person begins defending their opinion, an opinion you weren’t even seeking. This happened to me recently and it was annoying. I don’t mind healthy discussion and differences of opinion, but based on the other person’s tone, this could have escalated into an argument that wasn’t worth my emotional investment. Because I don’t attend every argument I’m invited to, I simply responded, “I’ve given you my feedback,” and I ended the conversation.

Before I seek feedback from others I ask myself, “Do I really want this feedback, or is this a thinly veiled attempt to get validation for my already formed opinion? If the answer is the former, I ask; If it’s the latter, I don’t.

Once I’ve checked my motives and I am clear that I want feedback, I ask for it. Any my response is always, “thank you.”